Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2008

From quaintly.net:

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia! pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lor! i itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Iniquity

They laugh and smile and talk and embrace and I do too.
But sometimes my smile covers a tear.
And no one knows.

Right now my tear is from an it.
I'm sorry, so very sorry I did it.
I feel like a broken record and the skip
is the it that never completely goes away.

What would they think if they knew my it?
Would the laughs vanish? The smiles disappear?
Would the talk be hurled at me? The embrace taken back?

Do they have an it? What do they do with it?
Why do we act for each other when there is no play?
There is only life.
And that life includes a lot of it.
The point is not to celebrate it
but only to admit to it.

I am told Jesus knows everything
which means he know about it.
And yet he whispers
in words too good to be true
I died for you -- don't worry about it.

--Chip Heim

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Begone.

O sweet breath of life
Will thou never cease
Thy bitter tang?

Why the little pinpricks?
Why the small jolts of pain?
Art thou so cowardly
To hide in the shadows
Laughing at thy devilish traps?

Stare me in the face, O Master
Look me in the eye
Face me that I may know my enemy
Show me where my loyalties lie

If thou must taketh, do not giveth
If thou must kill, do not give life
Give me all or give me nothing
But do not linger in my suffering
Let the dead mourn the dead
But leave the living alone

Be thou sincere in thy dealings
Or begone

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Creepy



Remember the surreal, vague, metaphysical-seeming stuff I was talking about? Well, this is one of them.

Introspection

Things change. Nature changes, that's what nature is. Ever since God unleashed the Big Bang the total amount of entropy in the universe has only been able to increase. And chaos means change. Lots and lots and lots of change.

People change too. Or do they? I am not the same person I was a year ago, yet I am in essence no different than that naive little boy who loved Enid Blyton and ran down slides for fun. Parts of me have changed, parts of me have not. Am I still that little boy? Perhaps, but perhaps not.

But I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself here. If I have changed, how have I changed? I loved Enid Blyton, and I still do, even if other authors have challenged her preeminence. I no longer run down slides for fun (breaking your arm kinda cures you of that), so maybe I'm a little more cautious; more calculative and less of a risk-taker. I hated celery, and I still do. I still love french fries and fried chicken and pizza, although I can no longer live with myself if I ate those every day.

But to be honest, I'm digressing. My true question is whether my fundamental personality has changed, and that's a lot more difficult to answer. Likes and dislikes change all the time, but those don't really matter. Who I am is far more than what I like or dislike. And what would make up my fundamental personality? Well, I'm an introvert, and I think I always have been. I'm not spontaneous and I've a hard time taking the initiative to do something. I'm slightly better at that now than I was before, but in essence I haven't changed: I still prefer to follow the leader. I've always been kiasu, and I've always been a "nice guy". Well, I no longer exhibit my horridly spiteful temper, but that part of me is still in there somewhere. I'm not a very assertive person and I never have been. I'm easily distracted, amused, or wow-ed by surreal, vague, metaphysical-seeming things, and I always have been. And I still ponder upon the meaning of life and the reason for the existence of the universe every so often.

So, in conclusion, I guess my fundamental personality hasn't changed in any significant way. I may have gained a little bit more control over parts of my personality, but my tendencies in doing things are still roughly the same. Sure, my taste has evolved, and I've probably gained about half a million experience points thus far, but that's an integral part of life.

Wait, a minute, so that means I haven't changed significantly and probably am not going to? I don't know whether that's uplifting or depressing. I guess my indecisive nature hasn't changed as well.

Hmm.

Monday, October 13, 2008

A troubled conscience

No.
Why not?

Because it is wrong.
Is it? Why is it wrong?

Because it's not mine to take. It doesn't belong to me.
So what? How does that make it wrong?

It's called stealing. Stealing is wrong.
Why is stealing wrong? Tell me.

I would be depriving someone of what is rightfully his.
*Low chuckle* Rightfully his? Do you really believe that?

*Silence*
DO you?

Perhaps not. But I would be causing pain and anger. I would be causing distress. That is wrong.
IS it? After ALL that he's done to you?

I...
THINK, my friend, THINK. Without it, you die.

But... But this is wrong!
You spineless fool. It does not belong to him either. He may be its legal owner, but he has no more RIGHT to it than you do. He is the last person on earth who needs it. YOU do.

But there must be another way!
There is no other way. You know that.

There must be! There must be. I can keep looking!
For how long? *snarls harshly* You have two days to live. You don't do this, you die.

But I...
You MUST do this! TAKE it! Take it NOW!

I... I cannot.
You miserable pathetic little fool. Are you such a coward that you cannot even muster up the courage to save your own life?

I... I CANNOT! I CANNOT! Go away, and leave me alone!
Fine. So be it.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
*silence*

He...hello? HELLO?
*silence continues*

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The scream

In the calm before the storm
Silence reigns
The breeze is gentle
The wind a comforting whisper

In the calm before the storm
Everything is magnified
Every action drawing attention
Every sigh like rolling thunder

In the calm before the storm
The edges blur
The skies open
Revealing heaven

In the calm before the storm
The chaos is within
The earth trembles
Darkness roars
With benign malignancy

In the calm before the storm
It grows cold
The clouds gather
The hearts of men waver

In the calm before the storm
The universe holds its breath

And in the calm within the storm
Every fibre of my being
Unleashes a primal scream

Monday, September 22, 2008

Taggeristissimo

Tagged by Rachelle and Eu Fern.

Rule
: The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover. Tag 8 other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

Gender of perfect lover: Phenotypically female (preferably an XY with defective androgen receptors/defective testosterone-DHT enzymes because they're supposed to be hot).

A perfect lover would:
1. NOT have a click in her name.
2. Put the ME into Aweso.
3. Scream like this:
4. Laugh at Bob because he stole our cookie. Haha, Bob. Haha.
5. Make awkward sexual advances not war.
6. Ruin an emo kid's day by making him smile.
7. Love Facebook Flair as much as I do.
8. Love me for being overly technical just so that she can shut me up. XD

I tag:
1. A. A. A. D'Artagnan Umslopagaas Dynamite Macaulay, London.
2. Mrs Belcher Wack Wack
3. Sugarporn Poopattana, New York City.
4. Orange Marmalade Lemon, Wichita, Kansas.
5. F. G. Vereneseneckockkrockoff, San Francisco, California.
6. John Senior, Jr., New York City.
7. Pafia Pifia Pefia Pofia Pufia da Costa, Brazil.
8. If-Jesus-Christ-Had-Not-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebones, London.

And everyone else on http://f2.org/humour/language/oddnames.html.

P.s. To understand any of the above, you have to click on the links. =P